[He intends to start as soon as Mark picks up, but he fumbles a distracted sort of answer to that question instead.]
Uh- y-yeah. [Beat.] It's...fine.
[Beat. Two. Fuck.
His voice is soft, the way it always gets when he's trying to control how much emotion comes through it. He isn't doing a great job of that last part right now, though.]
Do you want me to stop? ...I'll be honest, I don't want to. I don't want to walk away from you again. I don't want to be alone again. But I don't wanna keep hurting you, either.
[It's the briefest of pauses before he just... sort of... keeps going.] You- you agreed to it, I thought it'd be okay, but- [There's a soft huff of fuck muttered, though not at all directed at Mark.] if this is fucking shit up for you more, just– just tell me... okay?
I...I want you to be okay, Mark... more than I want to do the selfish thing and keep you in my life...
[It's.... a lot.
It's a lot more than he's used to handing over to someone, which is why he just sort of barreled straight through the whole of it. If he didn't, he would have stopped and abandoned the whole thing.
Damien hates that it feels like he's just set himself up to lose him forever. But if that's what's right for Mark, isn't that what he should be doing?
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2022-06-07 04:03 pm (UTC)Uh- y-yeah. [Beat.] It's...fine.
[Beat.
Two.
Fuck.
His voice is soft, the way it always gets when he's trying to control how much emotion comes through it. He isn't doing a great job of that last part right now, though.]
Do you want me to stop? ...I'll be honest, I don't want to. I don't want to walk away from you again. I don't want to be alone again. But I don't wanna keep hurting you, either.
[It's the briefest of pauses before he just... sort of... keeps going.] You- you agreed to it, I thought it'd be okay, but- [There's a soft huff of fuck muttered, though not at all directed at Mark.] if this is fucking shit up for you more, just– just tell me... okay?
I...I want you to be okay, Mark... more than I want to do the selfish thing and keep you in my life...
[It's.... a lot.
It's a lot more than he's used to handing over to someone, which is why he just sort of barreled straight through the whole of it. If he didn't, he would have stopped and abandoned the whole thing.
Damien hates that it feels like he's just set himself up to lose him forever. But if that's what's right for Mark, isn't that what he should be doing?
Trying to be better, sucks.]