I once... I wanted to see the world. Hit all the touristy spots, and then find the quiet country-sides and get all of that working too. I wanted to see it all. I asked Sam to go too. She didn't. She wouldn't.
[A smile touches his lips at the thought because it feels so incredibly Mark. And it’s a little sad because, in another life, where he hadn’t fucked things up to the point of no return, he definitely would have gone on that trip with him. Damien knows plenty of places in the states just like that. He’d show him all the ones he knew, and they could find new ones together.
But.
It’s not going to happen, and that makes his chest tighten.]
I’m sorry she wouldn’t go… [Its strange to find he actually means that. Yes, he’d rather be the one Mark wanted to take, but he gets all the reasons that isn’t possible. And if he can’t, then he’d like Mark to at least get to see everything he dreamed of seeing.
Doesn’t sound like it’s happening any time soon, though.] Sounds like it’d be fun…
[ ‘I would go with you,’ burns a place at the end of his tongue, but he keeps it to himself. ]
[Mark knows what is being felt without Damien saying it. Because, looking back, he had fun when they were together. Until he was forced to talk, and prevented from reaching out to Joan. The rest? The rest was nice.]
I don't know that Alex trusts being that far from the AM and his medication yet, though. So I sit around here, trying to find an answer to life.
Guess I'm just afraid there are other AM divisions that would go after me. Maybe I'll agree to check in with The Order and see if they can ensure I come back.
[So much that hes missed. Mark has a running quiet discussion of what the tour was like while he makes the tea, and once that's done he moves upstairs. Which works for him. And once he's curled up in a seat he starts to talk about the research they did with Owen to oust Wadsworth. Then the Order stuff. And then he just barrelled on to all that happened at the AM when he was there the day Helen got out.
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But.
It’s not going to happen, and that makes his chest tighten.]
I’m sorry she wouldn’t go… [Its strange to find he actually means that. Yes, he’d rather be the one Mark wanted to take, but he gets all the reasons that isn’t possible. And if he can’t, then he’d like Mark to at least get to see everything he dreamed of seeing.
Doesn’t sound like it’s happening any time soon, though.] Sounds like it’d be fun…
[ ‘I would go with you,’ burns a place at the end of his tongue, but he keeps it to himself. ]
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I don't know that Alex trusts being that far from the AM and his medication yet, though. So I sit around here, trying to find an answer to life.
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You have earned every fucking right to just… be selfish for once. Do what you wanna do, quit living for other people.
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I just... I want things to be about me for a change. But in a good way.
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[He hadn't been able to help the fear of traveling alone. He just can't do it.]
But I guess I can at least head out of town for the weekend. Not far, but away.
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[His voice is quiet, softer than usual. He likes the idea of Mark doing something for himself for once.]
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Guess I'm just afraid there are other AM divisions that would go after me. Maybe I'll agree to check in with The Order and see if they can ensure I come back.
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Because he was there for the research, and he'd had time to talk to Chloe about stuff too.
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But he can’t hate the idea of listening to Mark try to catch him up on everything he missed… He likes the sound of his voice.]
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And turned out he needed to talk about shit.]